(Continued from Marton Harry's Column, Part 1)
And finally, the last name on almost any list, Shital Zzoaoah.
My thanks to Mark Rogerson and Tony Swallow, Martin Pemberton, Steerpike of Level 9 and the boys and girls of DCB4.
Joint winners are DCB 4 for "Kelman Cedarbum" and Mark Rogerson and Tony Swallow for "Pearl M. Harber".
Highly esteemed, mint condition "CPSA Campaign '83" stickers have been presented to the lucky winners.
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Marton Harry's Competition 8. (November 1983)
This competition requires some original, creative thinking, so I recommend you get a good helping of fish down you before you attempt it.
The sick bay at Marton is designed so that it is impossible to pass through it carrying a person on a stretcher. Imagine somebody goes for a lie down, then collapses. They should be taken to hospital as soon as possible, but it would be inadvisable to carry them through the door in a vertical position.
How do you get round the problem? The sender of the best answer will receive a "CPSA Campaign '83" sticker, soon to gain antique status as 1983 draws to a close.
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Marton Harry's Competition 8 Results. (Xmas 1983)
Doctor Caligari of the Catacombs, St. Annes, suggests that the best way to remove the sick from Marton's Sick Bay (through the door of which loaded stretchers cannot be taken) is to scrunch them up into a ball and roll them through.
She wins my prize of a "CPSA Campaign '83" sticker.
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Marton Harry's Competition 9. (Xmas 1983)
Something easy this time, in that you either know the answer or you don't.
In which film did the word "interoceter" play a prominent part?
If you are under 30, perhaps an older friend or relative might be able to help you.
The star of the film is not so much OK as DK.
The theme of the film might be considered relevant to the creator of this column.
The sender of the first correct answer out of the hat will receive an almost unique, much sought after, limited edition "CPSA Campaign '83" sticker.
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Marton Harry's Competition 9 Results. (April 1984)
The film title I was looking for was "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty", starring Danny Kaye. Perhaps it was too far down Memory Lane; I received a grand total of zero entries.
The prize will be donated to the Send Marton Harry Back to Florida Fund.
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Marton Harry's Competition 10. (April 1984)
What is the greatest fraud of all time?
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Marton Harry's Competition 11. (July 1984)
There was something peculiar about the last two issues of Insight before this one. What was it?
The first two correct answers pulled out of the drum will each receive a highly valuable, antique CPSA Campaign '83 sticker.
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Marton Harry's Competition 11 Results. (September 1984)
The remarkable thing about the last two issues before the July Insight is that both have "April 1984" on the cover.
The Insight with the miner on the cover should have been dated May 1984. Blame anybody except the Editorial Board.
The Campaign '83 sticker was won by Robert Muir of DCB.
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Marton Harry's Competition 12: The Silly Name Competition Returns. (November 1984)
Two daft names I came across recently: Eirona Brain, which conjures up an image of an extremely unpleasant transplant, and Henrietta Lamb, which suggests extreme gluttony.
If anyone can send me an equally strange but genuine name, they will receive instant fame and a Mystery Prize.
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Marton Harry's Competition 12: The Silly Name Competition Returns: Results.
(February 1985)
The mystery prize of a colour television, Sinclair Spectrum 48K computer, modem, computer desk and one year's subscription to Prestel and Micronet 800 goes to Robert Muir of DCB8 for his entry, "Festus Grimdangle".
The judge's decision is absolutely final.
Bet you wish you'd entered, now, don't you?
This month's prize was donated by Robert Muir of DCB8.
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Marton Harry's Competition 13: Daft Inventions. (February 1985)
Many extremely useless items have been put into production, such as a solar-powered torch and the Cruise Missile. (It flies low and slow to avoid detection by radar, so 5 million East Germans point to the sky and say, "What the hell's that?".
A mystery prize will be awarded to the sender of the most interesting description of a really stupid, dangerous and/or expensive invention.
Anyone who wites in about a chocolate teapot will be severely denounced for being boring.
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Marton Harry's Competition 14. (May 1985)
A mystery prize will be awarded to the CPSA member who sends me the most bizarre, amazing, strange, hysterical, patronising or frightening circular.
To those of my readers who pick Insight out of waste paper baskets or have an underling to do it for them: This competition is requesting a parody of official circulars, not the genuine article. I don't fancy any B& SO staff being in the same position as Clive Ponting, even though he was found not guilty.
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Marton Harry's Competition 15. (July 1985)
How many entries are there in the Preston Area Phone Book under the world's commonest surname. And what is that surname?
The first person to send in the correct answer will be awarded with an antique and highly valued "Campaign '83" sticker. Failing a correct answer, the person who makes the nearest guess will receive the prize.
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